(with apologies to my colleagues) The following are instruments that you cannot play in a raging downpour:
Violins,Violas, Cellos, Basses, Harps, Piccolos, Flutes, Saxophones, Oboes, Clarinets, Bassoons, Contrabassoons, Timpani, Bass Drums, Traps, Marimba, Xylophones, Pianos
Which leaves (ignoring issues with rust, and valves, and other moving parts):
Trumpets, French Horns, Trombones, Tubas, Cymbals, Triangles, The Gong, Bells and
More Cowbells
The weather outside is frightful, and the fire ain’t so delightful. Fact is, it’s a bizarre series of weather swings we’ve been having here in Houston the last few weeks. Most orchestral instruments, and string instruments in particular, are horribly sensitive to extreme weather variations. This is due to the fact that they are made mostly out of WOOD, which expands and contracts. Think of a door in your house that sticks frequently. String players are always having to go and get their instruments adjusted, clamped and reglued. Many have some sort of dehumidifier in their house. I won’t let anyone enter my studio from the garden when my viola is out. I can almost hear it cracking . Most players have what is called a “picnic” instrument, for those outdoor performances. Bows are almost as bad, just less moving parts. Lately huge improvements in carbon fiber and graphite technology have enabled us to use carbon fiber bows that work almost as well as our wooden ones. Plus they come in nifty colors and you can swordfight with them backstage. There are companies that make entire stringed instruments of carbon fiber, but it is only the bows that have reached the status above being an odd thing.
Historically, this is not anything new. Though the basic forms of the acoustic string family as we know them now have not changed since the 1600’s, throughout the centuries and all in the name of science, string instruments have been attempted in a variety of materials. Metals, pottery, and plastic have occasionally replaced the standard maple, spruce, ebony, and willow. In the USA in the 1930’s, double basses made of aluminum were developed for military orchestras and similar occasions. Unfortunately, the experiments generally sound like crap.
Maybe one day advancements will be such that the following situation would not have the potential for unmitigated disaster. When the Philadelphia Orchestra was rehearsing Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring in their new Kimmel Center, the fire-suppression system was activated, soaking the stage, the balconies and the seats. Fleeing musicians were drenched as they used their bodies and their clothing to try to shield their instruments from the downpour, and a $75,000 Steinway piano was destroyed. Former Houston Symphony Maestro Christoph Eschenbach at the time was the new Maestro-elect of Philly and had a very Eschenbach-ian response to the situation.
"It was like a natural phenomenon," Eschenbach told the Philadelphia Inquirer. "It was The Rite of the Sprinkler."
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7 comments:
Firstly: Do you or have you ever swordfaught with any type of bow backstage? (What about Pirate Costume Swords?) Secondly: Why are there sprinklers above the stage?! That is just asking for pricy pricy instruments to be ruined.
Backstage? We do it wi' our carbon bows ONSTAGE. When we arrrr bucaneers, matey, we use our cutlassssses. Yarrgh!
As for the sprinklers above stage, I would assume there are fire codes for the building that have to be met. Luckily this sprinkler mishap has not happened to the Houston Symphony, Tropical Storm Allison did quite enough damage as it was! Which begs the question: would you rather be burned or flooded?
Burned or flooded? Both suck and both would ruin the stage. But I would assume burned.. because you can dodge fire and save your instrument (which is more important than the stage anyway!). But if it flooded, you would have to wade with your instrument above your head and hope you don't go under. Definately Burned, though that would be more traumatizing than being flooded. Haha.
playing can be difficult with skin grafts and lung scar tissue...you are hardcore!
Well I would try and avoid the flames! Being burned isn't exactly fun! I learned that once when I attempted cooking (long story short: it failed). But what are some of the worst conditions you have ever had to play under? Whether it be incompetant employers or other horrible conditions. (Besides Tropical Storm Allison).
I can think of numerous weather-related examples but the most unthinkable now, though I didn't mind then, was working with Rostropovich as a student. I was representing Germany in a joint Russian-German orchestra in Portugal (long story). We had rehearsed until 8 PM then finished. Aroung 1 in the morning word came down that Slava was looking for people to rehearse- he wanted to have a sectional! The guy had spent the time in between drinking and carousing, and then he wanted to work somemore! Well we all made ourselves scarce but in the end we rehearsed the next two days starting at 3 a.m. I have the utmost admiration for him, both as a drinker and a musician!!! I hope I can keep up at that age!
3 a.m.? Now that is hardcore. But as a pirate, your drinking stamina can't be poor. It's a given for pirates to be great drinkers. But more people need to post! I seem to be the only one posting lately. Haha. I am such a nerd! I would think more people would post.
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