Lots of things have been substituted lately. When this week's scheduled conductor, Jeffrey Kahane, had to cancel at the last minute due to illness, conductor Christoph Campestrini stepped in. This sort of substitution happens rarely in classical music, not as much as it seems to happen in the theater, where understudies are called on more frequently. Some notable examples of last minute substitutions that led to huge careers for the substitutes include that of a young Leonard Bernstein for an ailing Bruno Walter, and the more dishy story of one of the greatest conductors of the early 20th century, Arturo Toscanini.
Toscanini was born in Parma, Italy and studied cello. In 1886 he was touring South America as a cellist with the orchestra of an opera company. While presenting Aida in Rio de Janeiro, the orchestra's conductor was booed by the audience and forced to leave the podium. Although he had no orchestral conducting experience, the 19 year old Toscanini was persuaded to take up the baton, and led a magnificent performance completely from memory. The rest, as they say, is history.
Back to Campestrini, who is from Austria and used the word "spicy" a lot in rehearsal, which got me thinking about that other most recent substitution in the news; that is, of swiss chard for poisonous e. coli spinach. Which then led me to some musing about a hypothetical concert in which you could substitute whatever you wanted to create your own version of the piece. Sort of like that Burger King commercial that (ok, dating myself here) I grew up with- "hold the pickle, hold the lettuce, special orders don't upset us, all we ask is that you let us serve it your way..."
So there you'd be, a whole orchestra in front of you, to basically do your bidding like customizing your entree at a restaurant (substitutions $3 extra, sharing $9, no doggie bags). "Uh, yes, I'll take the Beethoven 5, low fat, so hold the oboe; substitute extra spicy alto sax. I'm watching carbs, so could you put in only half of the double basses and leave them on the side, and instead of violas I'll have a side order of bongos." "And no contrabassoon, thanks."
Friday, October 20, 2006
Thursday, October 05, 2006
1001 nights
This week while sitting in rehearsal after a 2 hour long marathon training run, my over-oxygenated brain cooked up a fantasy that incorporated two weeks' repertoire, and my current favorite marketing campaign .
The scene: The palace of the Sultan
The time: once upon a Long Ago
The story: Scheherazade is the daughter of the Grand Vizier to Sultan Shahriyar. The sultan's first wife had betrayed him, and in anger and grief he not only executed her but vowed to marry a woman each night and kill her the next morning. The sultan's cruel order was obeyed for three years, until Scheherazade conceived a plan to stop him and convinced her father to offer her as the sultan's next wife. Her plan was to tell him such an enthralling, cliff-hangerful story, that every night instead of choppin' off her noggin, he would beg for another. This would hopefully continue night after night, until the sultan would finally be convinced of her loyalty and rescind his death sentence.
But Scheherazade was just an ordinary Grand Vizier's daughter, not a paid celebrity. So to help tell her story, she hired celebrity singer/songwriter Burt Bacharach.
Scheherazade speaks:
Sinbad the sailor tells how he grew restless of his life of leisure, and set to sea , "possessed with the thought of travelling about the world of men and seeing their cities and islands." Accidentally abandoned by his shipmates, he finds himself stranded in an inaccessible valley of giant snakes and even more gigantic birds, the rocs, which prey upon them.
Burt sings:
Why do birds suddenly appear
Everytime you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Scheherazade speaks:
The floor of the valley is carpeted with diamonds, and merchants harvest these by throwing huge chunks of meat into the valley which the birds then carry back to their nests, where the men drive them away and collect the diamonds stuck to the meat. The wily Sinbad straps one of the pieces of meat to his back and is carried back to the nest along with a large sack full of precious gems. Rescued from the nest by the merchants, he returns to Baghdad with a fortune in diamonds, seeing many marvels along the way.
Burt sings:
Knowing when to leave
Go while the going is good
Knowing when to leave may be the smartest thing anyone can learn.
Go!
Sultan cries: Ahhh! Wily vixen! I have "Close To You" running around and around and around in my head! You must get it out!
Burt: Sorry Sultan baby, but that's all for tonight. Catch our next show tomorrow night at 8 and 10. Thanks for coming, you've been a great audience, don't forget to tip the bartender on your way out.
And so the show played on the next night.
Scheherazade speaks:
A woman of the merchant class was married to a man who was a great traveler. Once he set out for a far country and was absent so long that his wife, out of sheer boredom, fell in love with a handsome young man, and they loved each other exceedingly. One day, the youth quarreled with another man, who lodged a complaint against him with the Chief of Police, and he cast him into prison. When the news came to the merchant's wife, she nearly lost her mind. Then she arose and--putting on her richest clothes--went to the house of the Chief of Police. She Greeted him and presented him with a petition which read, "The man you have imprisoned is my brother So-and-So, who had a fight with someone; but those who testified against him lied. He has been wrongfully imprisoned, and I have no one else to live with or to support me; therefore I beg you graciously to release him."
When the Chief had read the petition, he looked at her and immediately fell in love with her.....
Burt sings:
Magic moments, mem'ries we've been sharin''
Magic moments, when two hearts are carin
Time can't erase the memory of
These magic moments filled with love
And so on and so on, on and on and on and on and the King kept Scheherazade and Burt alive as he eagerly anticipated each new story and change of song, until, one thousand and one adventurous and supremely groovy nights, and three sons later, the King had not only been entertained by Burt but wisely educated in morality and kindness by Scheherazade who became his Queen.
(Burt sings to fadeout)
What's it all about, Sultan?
Is it just for the moment we live?
What's it all about when you sort it out, Sultan?
Are we meant to take more than we give
Or are we meant to be kind?
And if only fools are kind, Sultan,
Then I guess its wise to be cruel.....
The End.
The scene: The palace of the Sultan
The time: once upon a Long Ago
The story: Scheherazade is the daughter of the Grand Vizier to Sultan Shahriyar. The sultan's first wife had betrayed him, and in anger and grief he not only executed her but vowed to marry a woman each night and kill her the next morning. The sultan's cruel order was obeyed for three years, until Scheherazade conceived a plan to stop him and convinced her father to offer her as the sultan's next wife. Her plan was to tell him such an enthralling, cliff-hangerful story, that every night instead of choppin' off her noggin, he would beg for another. This would hopefully continue night after night, until the sultan would finally be convinced of her loyalty and rescind his death sentence.
But Scheherazade was just an ordinary Grand Vizier's daughter, not a paid celebrity. So to help tell her story, she hired celebrity singer/songwriter Burt Bacharach.
Scheherazade speaks:
Sinbad the sailor tells how he grew restless of his life of leisure, and set to sea , "possessed with the thought of travelling about the world of men and seeing their cities and islands." Accidentally abandoned by his shipmates, he finds himself stranded in an inaccessible valley of giant snakes and even more gigantic birds, the rocs, which prey upon them.
Burt sings:
Why do birds suddenly appear
Everytime you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Scheherazade speaks:
The floor of the valley is carpeted with diamonds, and merchants harvest these by throwing huge chunks of meat into the valley which the birds then carry back to their nests, where the men drive them away and collect the diamonds stuck to the meat. The wily Sinbad straps one of the pieces of meat to his back and is carried back to the nest along with a large sack full of precious gems. Rescued from the nest by the merchants, he returns to Baghdad with a fortune in diamonds, seeing many marvels along the way.
Burt sings:
Knowing when to leave
Go while the going is good
Knowing when to leave may be the smartest thing anyone can learn.
Go!
Sultan cries: Ahhh! Wily vixen! I have "Close To You" running around and around and around in my head! You must get it out!
Burt: Sorry Sultan baby, but that's all for tonight. Catch our next show tomorrow night at 8 and 10. Thanks for coming, you've been a great audience, don't forget to tip the bartender on your way out.
And so the show played on the next night.
Scheherazade speaks:
A woman of the merchant class was married to a man who was a great traveler. Once he set out for a far country and was absent so long that his wife, out of sheer boredom, fell in love with a handsome young man, and they loved each other exceedingly. One day, the youth quarreled with another man, who lodged a complaint against him with the Chief of Police, and he cast him into prison. When the news came to the merchant's wife, she nearly lost her mind. Then she arose and--putting on her richest clothes--went to the house of the Chief of Police. She Greeted him and presented him with a petition which read, "The man you have imprisoned is my brother So-and-So, who had a fight with someone; but those who testified against him lied. He has been wrongfully imprisoned, and I have no one else to live with or to support me; therefore I beg you graciously to release him."
When the Chief had read the petition, he looked at her and immediately fell in love with her.....
Burt sings:
Magic moments, mem'ries we've been sharin''
Magic moments, when two hearts are carin
Time can't erase the memory of
These magic moments filled with love
And so on and so on, on and on and on and on and the King kept Scheherazade and Burt alive as he eagerly anticipated each new story and change of song, until, one thousand and one adventurous and supremely groovy nights, and three sons later, the King had not only been entertained by Burt but wisely educated in morality and kindness by Scheherazade who became his Queen.
(Burt sings to fadeout)
What's it all about, Sultan?
Is it just for the moment we live?
What's it all about when you sort it out, Sultan?
Are we meant to take more than we give
Or are we meant to be kind?
And if only fools are kind, Sultan,
Then I guess its wise to be cruel.....
The End.
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