1001 nights

This week while sitting in rehearsal after a 2 hour long marathon training run, my over-oxygenated brain cooked up a fantasy that incorporated two weeks' repertoire, and my current favorite marketing campaign .

The scene: The palace of the Sultan

The time: once upon a Long Ago

The story: Scheherazade is the daughter of the Grand Vizier to Sultan Shahriyar. The sultan's first wife had betrayed him, and in anger and grief he not only executed her but vowed to marry a woman each night and kill her the next morning. The sultan's cruel order was obeyed for three years, until Scheherazade conceived a plan to stop him and convinced her father to offer her as the sultan's next wife. Her plan was to tell him such an enthralling, cliff-hangerful story, that every night instead of choppin' off her noggin, he would beg for another. This would hopefully continue night after night, until the sultan would finally be convinced of her loyalty and rescind his death sentence.

But Scheherazade was just an ordinary Grand Vizier's daughter, not a paid celebrity. So to help tell her story, she hired celebrity singer/songwriter Burt Bacharach.

Scheherazade speaks:

Sinbad the sailor tells how he grew restless of his life of leisure, and set to sea , "possessed with the thought of travelling about the world of men and seeing their cities and islands." Accidentally abandoned by his shipmates, he finds himself stranded in an inaccessible valley of giant snakes and even more gigantic birds, the rocs, which prey upon them.

Burt sings:

Why do birds suddenly appear
Everytime you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

Scheherazade speaks:

The floor of the valley is carpeted with diamonds, and merchants harvest these by throwing huge chunks of meat into the valley which the birds then carry back to their nests, where the men drive them away and collect the diamonds stuck to the meat. The wily Sinbad straps one of the pieces of meat to his back and is carried back to the nest along with a large sack full of precious gems. Rescued from the nest by the merchants, he returns to Baghdad with a fortune in diamonds, seeing many marvels along the way.

Burt sings:

Knowing when to leave
Go while the going is good
Knowing when to leave may be the smartest thing anyone can learn.
Go!

Sultan cries: Ahhh! Wily vixen! I have "Close To You" running around and around and around in my head! You must get it out!

Burt: Sorry Sultan baby, but that's all for tonight. Catch our next show tomorrow night at 8 and 10. Thanks for coming, you've been a great audience, don't forget to tip the bartender on your way out.

And so the show played on the next night.

Scheherazade speaks:

A woman of the merchant class was married to a man who was a great traveler. Once he set out for a far country and was absent so long that his wife, out of sheer boredom, fell in love with a handsome young man, and they loved each other exceedingly. One day, the youth quarreled with another man, who lodged a complaint against him with the Chief of Police, and he cast him into prison. When the news came to the merchant's wife, she nearly lost her mind. Then she arose and--putting on her richest clothes--went to the house of the Chief of Police. She Greeted him and presented him with a petition which read, "The man you have imprisoned is my brother So-and-So, who had a fight with someone; but those who testified against him lied. He has been wrongfully imprisoned, and I have no one else to live with or to support me; therefore I beg you graciously to release him."

When the Chief had read the petition, he looked at her and immediately fell in love with her.....

Burt sings:

Magic moments, mem'ries we've been sharin''
Magic moments, when two hearts are carin
Time can't erase the memory of
These magic moments filled with love

And so on and so on, on and on and on and on and the King kept Scheherazade and Burt alive as he eagerly anticipated each new story and change of song, until, one thousand and one adventurous and supremely groovy nights, and three sons later, the King had not only been entertained by Burt but wisely educated in morality and kindness by Scheherazade who became his Queen.

(Burt sings to fadeout)

What's it all about, Sultan?
Is it just for the moment we live?
What's it all about when you sort it out, Sultan?
Are we meant to take more than we give
Or are we meant to be kind?
And if only fools are kind, Sultan,
Then I guess its wise to be cruel.....


The End.